


Off The Map

by XxSynthetic_CyanidexX



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters: Black & White | Pokemon Black and White Versions
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:40:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24056860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XxSynthetic_CyanidexX/pseuds/XxSynthetic_CyanidexX
Summary: I searched for you for five long years... hoping and wishing to see your face again. But wherever you go, I will find you, because it isn't gravity keeping me to the Earth anymore... it is you, and you alone. A gift fanfic where Touya tirelessly searches for N after the battle at the castle, only to find he isn't the only one looking for the green-haired boy.
Relationships: N | Natural Harmonia Gropius/Touya | Hilbert
Comments: 5
Kudos: 38





	Off The Map

They claim that time heals all wounds no matter how bad, right? That, if you just settle down and smell the flowers, then everything will work out in the end? So, if that is indeed the case... why does it still hurt so bad? It still feels as if my skin is seared clean open, and my fragile heart is exposed to the cruel environment. Surely, after five years... I should be able to move on with my life.

But that was the issue. Life just didn't feel right without him. He just upped and vanished without even saying goodbye, and left me in complete limbo. I spent ages trying to find him, scouring every inch of Unova, but it was all in vain. N vanished entirely off the map, leaving emptiness behind.

Just why had that man ruled my heart so much? Was it his attitude to life itself and his pure love for Pokemon? Had it been his almost child-like demeanour that I became so utterly infatuated by? Or was it his gorgeous looks? Arceus knows... but just thinking about him made my head hurt.

I guess... all I wanted, all I needed... was an explanation of some sort.

If N had given me more information, I probably would have joined him, and left everything I knew behind. As stupid and selfish as that sounds; when a person is in love with another- they became their reason for existing. And when that person is no longer around, it feels as if gravity itself cannot keep you rooted.

"He's nothing more than a freak without a human heart. Do you think you're going to get through to a warped person like that?" Ghetis's words haunted my mind constantly after every tireless attempt to find him.

Was it actually true?

Did N really have no concept of human emotion...?

So, this had been the third time I had visited the abandoned ruins of N's castle in the space of five years. Every single time I came here, I was hit with the same feeling- that of nostalgia, and loss.

I grieved for the green-haired boy every time my eyes drank in the wretched imagery in front of me.

My heart yearned when I stepped over chunks of rubble and debris, desperately searching for his familiar tall silhouette in the darkness.

My eyes shed agonising tears when I entered the room that used to be his, decimated utterly. The cloud wallpaper was torn and peeling, his toys broken in half, unable to be salvaged.

It was as if the universe was showing me that there was no way of repairing what had been broken. That looking upon the wreckage served no purpose apart from a reminder that my heart wasn't over him, and never would be.

And yet, here I stood once again in the darkness, looking up at the crumbling building before me, inhaling shakily. How many more times could I keep coming back, hoping and praying that he would be here? N had no reason to return to this place, it served only as a painful memory of the past and of a life he wanted dead and buried- he would be foolish to dare enter the wreckage.

But I hoped that somewhere deep inside his soul, a part of him yearned for me too...

The atmosphere was almost choking, making it difficult to breathe as I traversed the rubble. I was used to this by now. I knew exactly where to go and what parts of the building were safe to step on without falling to my doom. This place was memorised entirely to the point where I could probably do it blindfolded.

And just like all the times before, I ended up once more outside of N's bedroom- the wall completely blown out and bricks scattered haphazardly at my feet. It looked exactly the same as before, nothing had been moved. The toys were still broken on the floor, the wallpaper still peeling and cracked- it was almost as if I kept returning to the same point in time almost.

I knelt down carefully, picking up part of the train set. It's beautiful shiny red finish was now chipped and covered in dust. A heavy sigh escaped my throat as I gripped it tight in my hand. These fragments were the only things I had left of N, and even these were crumbling in my hands. Swallowing hard I tried to choke back the tears that threatened to fall.

Why couldn't I keep it together?

I just... missed him, so much.

In the short space of time knowing him, N had altered so many things for me. Before him, I never thought of myself to be interested sexually in another man- and then this beautiful green-haired guy shows up, and takes me on the Ferris Wheel ride, telling me he's the king of a criminal empire and I'm weak at the knees.

Pathetic, right?

But, the heart wants what the heart wants, and no one can change that. Not even time. I just longed to see his face again, that child-like innocence once more. To hear his soft voice, to see his smile- but right now, it felt as if it was nothing more than a deluded fantasy.

This was beyond stupid. I got to my feet hastily, and left the crumbling room, feeling angry, upset- all of those blasted emotions I tried so hard to keep dead and buried. But I couldn't.

I rushed out of the bedroom and stomped down the ruins of the hallway to one of the large windows that had surprisingly stayed intact during the battle. A full moon hung in the sky tonight, and a scattering of shimmering stars accompanied it's form. It was so beautiful- and yet deep within I felt as if my whole world was falling down.

Closing my eyes, I felt my heart heave in pain as bitter tears stained my cheeks. He was never coming back... was he? He had disappeared, out of my life, never to return.

It hurt so bad... I just wanted it to end!

Why was I destined to suffer this way?!

What had I done wrong?!

"...I just...miss y-you..." I didn't even recognise my own voice. It seemed weak and feeble, alien in my ears. As my knees gave out and I crumbled to the ground, I allowed the tornado of emotion to take over and sobbed painfully into my hands.

N was never coming home.

N was never coming back to me.

Then I froze when the soft rumble of a roar echoed within my ears. I hadn't heard any noises since visiting here after the battle, and now... that definitely sounded like a Pokemon's cry! Quickly I looked around, but couldn't see anything. It had gotten so dark in here I could barely make out my hand in front of my face.

Was there Pokemon living in the rubble? Had life actually managed to flourish despite the travesty? The irony that even amid death, life always finds a way back to fruition.

Then the roar sounded louder, and closer than ever before- as if it were right in front of my face. A hot blast of breath wafted over my skin, and the room became illuminated in an orange glow. As my eyes readjusted to the light I noticed gleaming bright blue eyes, and a white snout pressed almost directly against my arm. Its neck had bent down to inspect me, and the orange glow shined from its tail.

Re-Reshiram?!

"...h-hey there... what a-are you doing here... buddy?" I spoke softly, pressing my fingers against his nose, feeling how the dragon Pokemon inhaled happily.

Wait a minute... this... wasn't Reshiram with N?!

My heart started hammering in my chest as I hurriedly looked around the giant dragon, trying to see if I could see his familiar tall silhouette. But I didn't... it was just me and Reshiram in the room. But how did he get here without making the building break even more?

"Gyaaaaooooo~!" He crooned happily, and even though I was so eternally happy to see Reshiram, my heart still sank, knowing that N wasn't here. Had he let Reshiram go after the whole battle here? Was the dragon type coming here for the same reason I was? To see if N returned to him?

"...so y-you miss him too... huh?" The words were soft, but I knew he heard me. As his nose affectionately nuzzled my hand, for once, I felt like I was sharing my emotional burden. It wasn't just me feeling this agonising weight in my heart. This beautiful creature missed him too.

Maybe we could search for him together? I was almost positive that Reshiram wanted the same thing, but as I pondered that notion, I concluded it was useless. We had both been searching for years and found nothing, no scrap of evidence even saying that N was still alive. We had both been suffering the loss of the green-haired man more than we realised.

By looking into the dragon's blue irises, I saw deep-rooted sadness, and the fire in his tail spiral wasn't as fierce as it used to be. The very willpower to continue was diminishing for us both. We were so close to giving up on N, I could tell.

"...I j-just don't know w-what to do anymore..." I muttered defeatedly.

"...Touya?" For a moment I almost didn't register my name being spoken aloud, until I saw Reshiram's head shoot upwards, searching for the sound.

Wait... was there someone here?

I wiped my face on the back on my hand, sniffling back tears as slowly I got back to my feet.

"Gyaaooo..." The dragon yipped, nose pressing into the ground, inhaling deeply. Then his blue eyes shimmered in emotion, and the once diminishing flare in his tail burned furiously. The heat was so intense it felt as if he would set fire to the building. Just what was going on...?

"Touya... are you here?"

There it was...!

That voice...!

Wait... I know that voice!

N...?! N...!

Was he really here?!

"N...?!" I cried, frantically looking around for his familiar figure, feeling this indescribable rush of endorphins.

Oh my Arceus... was this real?

Was this a dream?!

As I stepped forwards, gently resting a hand on Reshiram's nape calmly, just before us in the dim light stood a white-clothed figure. Long green hair flowed past his shoulder's, and a very faint smile tugged at his thin lips.

Was I hallucinating?

"...I didn't expect to find you here..." N uttered quietly, his voice sounding pained as his eyes looked away briefly before melting into mine. Was he actually real? Before I knew what I was doing, I lunged at his figure, wrapping my arms tightly around him. The force knocked us off balance, and we both crashed to the ground.

I pressed my nose into his white shirt, inhaling deeply.

He was actually here...he was real... right in front of me... in my arms, just how?!

His heartbeat echoed within, and all that pain that I had been storing inside my core just seemed to evaporate into nothing.

"I-I... missed you... s-so much...!" Then the tears came, hard and fast. I bawled loudly, gripping him as tightly as I could. His own arms came and circled around me gently as if I were made of glass.

"I missed you too, Touya..."

"F-five years...N... five fucking years...!" More tears fell and soaked his shirt. "...you w-were gone for five years...! I thought s-something happened to you...! You asshole...!" He didn't say anything, just reached up to take my hat off my head, and comb his fingers through my hair. Reshiram crooned softly in front of us, his nose gently pressed against my shoulder blades in comfort.

"Touya I'm so sorry... I couldn't take you with me..."

"Y-you didn't even give me a chance...!" As I looked up into his broken eyes, I could see that he too was just as upset as me, and that was something. N had led a very sheltered life and didn't have much time for human interaction, so to actually see the sadness behind his stare was an achievement.

"It was far too dangerous at the time...I wanted to protect you," He assured, his hand moving from my hair to cup my cheek tenderly. "...if you came with me... Arceus knows what would have happened."

"... I've been s-searching for you ever since you left..." I sniffled weakly. "...I n-never gave up hope, wishing you would return..." He smiled a little.

"As have I. I have been searching for you as well. I returned to these ruins several times, hoping you would be here waiting for me, but they were all in vain. You were never here."

Wait... had we both been doing the same thing at different times, and missing each other completely?

However, just knowing that N had been looking for me too, filled my body with so much joy I could burst.

"Oh N..." His fingers felt warm on my cheek as gently he admired the skin beneath them. We were still tangled on the ground, and even though it must have been uncomfortable for him, he made no effort to move.

"I have always had such great admiration for you Touya... your conviction and love for Pokemon astounded me. You are truly an amazing person." Then instinct infiltrated my brain as if someone else was controlling my very actions, and ever so softly, I found myself pressing my lips against his. They were soft, just like I had imagined.

N tensed underneath me for a moment before he relaxed and I found him kissing me back. His hand moved from my cheek to my hair once again, holding me close. In the background, I could hear Reshiram snorting happily. Maybe because he too was reunited with the man who freed him, and showed him the love of a trainer.

As we broke the kiss, I looked at N through half-lidded eyes, watching as his chest heaved up and down. His cheeks were slightly flushed, maybe due to the excessive heat the dragon was giving off, or because I had literally lunged at him.

"S-sorry..." I muttered bashfully. "I have waited five years for that." He idly played with strands of my hair.

"Do not apologise Touya, I too have waited to share a moment like that with you."

Arceus, I loved him.

I loved him so much it hurt, and there was no way I was letting him run away from me a second time.

"Let me go with you, N." I pleaded, gazing earnestly into his eyes. "I want to go with you... wherever that is."

"Touya..."

"Please...!" Now I was begging. "I-I... love you, N... I can't stand the thought of being away from you...!" It was the truth. I didn't want to imagine my life without him anymore. Not now, we had reunited. His lips tugged into a smile.

"The reason I was searching so hard for you all this time was to ask you that very question- would you accompany me?" He then looked over at Reshiram, who had been calmly watching us both. "...and you too Reshiram, would you like to come back to me? I promise a better future, for us all- no twisted truth or cruel ideals, a place we can live in peace and harmony. I promise."

And no more words were uttered as I captured his lips in a deep kiss, signing my contract with the former king of team Plasma, silently telling him that I would willingly follow him anywhere, even if that was off the map entirely.

Fin~


End file.
